How Couples Therapy Can Save Relationships

By: Dr. Samantha Awalt

Couples Therapy goes by many names- couples counseling, couples therapy, or marriage therapy. Couples Therapy is a form of therapy that helps couples address and resolve conflicts in their relationship.

It involves a licensed therapist, professional counselor, or clinical psychologist who works with the couple to:

Improve communication
Understand patterns of behavior
Develop strategies for overcoming challenges in the relationship

Couples may attend sessions together or individually to work on their personal issues that contribute to marital problems.

The Importance of Seeking Help

Many couples may feel hesitant or embarrassed about seeking help for their relationship, but the truth is, seeking help is a sign of strength. It shows that you are committed to making your relationship work and are willing to put in the effort to improve it.

Seeking help from a licensed mental health professional can provide an unbiased perspective. A therapist can create a safe space for couples to work through their issues. A therapist can offer tools and exercises designed to foster understanding and compassion. These exercises enable partners to see each other’s point of view more clearly.

The Role of a Couples Therapist

A licensed mental health therapist is a neutral third party. The couples therapist listens without judgment and guides the conversation in a productive manner. The therapist’s job is to detect relationship challenges and unhealthy dynamics. They can offer a fresh perspective on the problem at hand.

A therapist’s role is to hear both sides and support both partners. The therapist facilitates understanding by helping the couple find their own solutions. The solutions should align with both partners’ needs and values.

They may employ a variety of therapeutic techniques depending on the couple’s specific challenges and goals. By working to resolve these issues the couple feels like they work together as a team.

How Couples Therapy Can Save Relationships

Couples Therapy can be a powerful tool for saving relationships in crisis. Here are some of the ways it can help:

Improved Communication

One of the main goals of couples therapy is to improve communication between partners. Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Yet many couples find themselves stuck in negative patterns that hinder their ability to connect effectively.

These negative patterns can lead to feelings of frustration, misunderstanding, and emotional distance. Often, couples walk away from arguments feeling misunderstood, which exacerbates the problem and creates a cycle of poor communication.

A couples therapist plays a crucial role in identifying these negative communication patterns. With their expertise, they can pinpoint the specific behaviors and interactions that are causing friction between partners. For example, a therapist might observe that one partner tends to interrupt while the other shuts down emotionally. These patterns, if left unchecked, can become ingrained and difficult to change without professional help.

By working with a couples therapist, couples can begin to break free from these detrimental patterns. The therapist provides a safe and neutral space where both partners can express their feelings and thoughts without fear of judgment. This environment encourages openness and honesty, which are essential for effective communication. Through guided exercises and discussions, couples learn new ways to communicate that are more constructive and supportive.

One key aspect of improving communication in Couples Therapy is the removal of blame and defensiveness. When blame and defensiveness occur it can get in the way of any real progress.

When partners blame each other for problems, it creates an adversarial atmosphere that is not conducive to resolving issues. Similarly, defensiveness shuts down the possibility of understanding and empathy. As each partner becomes more focused on protecting themselves rather than listening to the other.

A good marriage therapist will emphasize the importance of approaching conflicts with a mindset of collaboration rather than competition. Instead of fighting to win arguments, couples should see them as chances to learn more about each other and find agreement. This shift in perspective can significantly alter the dynamics of a relationship, making it more resilient and harmonious.

In couples therapy, the work between couples should be supportive and nurturing. The goal is to create a partnership where both individuals feel valued, heard, and understood. Therapists often teach couples skills such as active listening, empathy, and assertiveness.

Active listening involves truly paying attention to what the other person is saying without interrupting or planning your response. Empathy means trying to understand the other person’s feelings and perspective. It does not mean that you need to agree with your partner’s perspective. Assertiveness involves expressing your own needs and feelings clearly and respectfully.

These skills help couples build a stronger foundation of trust and mutual respect. Over time, as communication improves, many couples find that other aspects of their relationship also begin to improve. They may feel more connected, more affectionate, and more willing to work together to solve problems.

Identifying and Addressing Underlying Issues

Relationship problems often stem from underlying issues such as trust, resentment, or unresolved conflicts. A couples therapist can help couples identify these issues and work through them together.

By addressing the root causes of their problems, couples can build a stronger foundation for their relationship. This process involves looking into each partner’s past to see how it affects their behavior in the marriage.

Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but it’s how couples handle them that can make or break the relationship. Couples Therapy can teach couples effective conflict resolution skills, such as active listening, compromise, and problem-solving. These skills can help couples navigate disagreements in a healthy and productive way.

Therapy can help partners learn to:

Manage their emotions during conflicts
Preventing escalation
Promoting a calmer, more constructive dialogue

Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy

For many couples, a lack of trust and intimacy can be a major source of conflict. Couples therapy can help rebuild trust and intimacy. A safe and supportive space creates a space for couples to express their feelings and work through any underlying issues.

This can lead to a deeper understanding and connection between partners. Therapists can provide exercises and activities designed to rekindle romance and strengthen the emotional bond.

Success Stories of Couples Therapy

Many couples save their marriage through couples therapy. Here are a few examples of how successful couples therapy can look:

Sarah and John

Sarah and John are married for 10 years and were struggling to communicate and connect with each other. They were constantly arguing and felt like they were drifting apart. After seeking couples therapy, they were able to improve their communication, address underlying issues, and rebuild trust and intimacy. Today, they are happier and more in love than ever before, crediting their success to the tools and insights gained from their counseling sessions.

Lisa and Mike

Lisa and Mike are married for 20 years and on the verge of divorce. They had grown apart and were constantly fighting.

Through couples therapy, they were able to identify the root causes of their problems. They could then work as a team and learn new communication and conflict resolution skills. They were able to save their marriage and are now more committed to each other than ever before. Their story is a testament to the transformative power of professional intervention even in long-standing relationships.

Emily and Tom

Emily and Tom are married for 5 years and are struggling to maintain a healthy work-life balance. Emily and Tom focused on their careers, which kept them busy and they had little time for one another.

Through couples therapy, they were able to prioritize their relationship and find ways to reconnect and strengthen their bond. Today, they have a stronger and more fulfilling relationship. They’ve established routines and boundaries that ensure they spend quality time together. They learned to keep their marital bond at the forefront of their priorities.

Tips for Choosing a Couples Therapist

If you and your partner are considering couples therapy, here are some tips to help you choose the right therapist for your needs:

Ask for recommendations from friends or family who have been to couples therapy before.
Research therapists in your area and read reviews or testimonials.
Look for a licensed therapist with experience in couples counseling.
Consider the therapist’s approach and make sure it aligns with your goals and values.
Schedule a consultation with the therapist to see if you feel comfortable and can build a rapport with them.
Consider practical factors such as the therapist’s location, availability, insurance acceptance, and payment options. The therapist’s office location is important to think about. Consider whether your therapists’ hours and availability align with your schedule. Additionally, check if the therapist accepts your insurance company or offers flexible payment options.

Conclusion

Couples therapy can be a lifeline for couples who are struggling in their relationship. It can help improve communication, address underlying issues, and rebuild trust and intimacy.

If you and your partner are facing challenges in your relationship, don’t hesitate to seek help from a professional. With the right therapist and a strong commitment, you can build a happier and stronger future together. Remember, it’s never too late to reach out for help and begin the journey toward a more fulfilling partnership.

Therapy in Lakewood, Colorado

Dr. Samantha Awalt is in Lakewood, CO in the Denver metro area. Dr. Awalt owns a private practice called Althought Therapy. Dr. Awalt sees clients for in person session in Lakewood, CO and provides online therapy for couples across the state of Colorado. If you are interested in working with Dr. Awalt see her Couples Therapy page.